I don’t exactly shower Valentine’s Day with roses today in my review. That’s because it’s Crap, Actually! But I’m not alone: Check out Rotten Tomatoes before you accuse me of overdosing on cranky pills. Meanwhile, my EW colleague Nicole Sperling declares right here on this site that she predicts opening-weekend ticket receipts to reach into the trillions!–or at $50 million! So I’d like to spend this romantic weekend discussing the following with all of you, my dearest Valentines: Are you planning to go see Valentine’s Day? And if so, why? Is it Taylor Lautner, Taylor Swift, Ashton Kutcher, Jamie Foxx, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, or Hector Elizondo who draws you like a bee to honey? Is it the urging of your own dearest Valentine?
Other topics for conversation between pauses to eat more chocolate: Do critics’ reviews influence you about this particular movie? Have you decided to go or not to go because of something you’ve read? In spite of something you read? Because of the trailer? In spite of the trailer? Are you choosing between Valentine’s Day and another title at the movie theater, and if so, which? Are you waiting to hear what your friends say? Do you think that if I, Lisa, hate it, it’s a good bet that you’ll like it, because I gave Twilight: New Moon a B+, so I must be crazy? Be specific — and as you always are (hah!) be nice. I’ll be checking in over the weekend, and will write more about critic-proof crowd-pleasers on Monday.
Love,
Lisa
Image credit: Ron Batzdorff
I liked the trailer and decided to see it months ago. A couple (million) bad reviews aren’t enough to deter me. Plus, there hasn’t been anything good out in WEEKS and I’m starved for entertainment.
Don’t see crap just because there is only crap out there.
this movie wasn’t crap at all actually
Trailer was crap, a lot of these big name stars are crap, totally expecting to leave feeling like crap, yet nothing can deter me from seeing this. I have NO idea know why.
My favorite loving review described it as “Less funny or romantic than your average colonoscopy” It’s from the Post.
Which “Post”? New York or Washington?
My favorite review said:
“For the most part, the stars know they’re in a piece of junk. You can see it in their eyes, except for Jessica Alba’s — you can’t see anything in there.”
Peter Travers of Rolling Stone also had this in his awesome review:
“There’s nothing wrong with lifting spirits, except Valentine’s Day has all the heart of a two-dollar-whore. Nothing in this cold-blooded exercise in comic calculation feels human. “
Who watches Jessica Alba in the eyes anyway ? XD. Just kidding. I doubt she’s the worst actress in this movie though.
My favorite was Roger Ebert. “If your date likes this movie, don’t go out with that person again.”
The critic on Movies.com said it was “more irritating than actual VD”
None, if I do see it I’ll see it on video. My girlfriend also says that it sounds and looks like a contrived plot that was only made to take advantage of the nature of the Valentine Holiday that is catching up with the commercialism of X-mas.
Valentine’s day has never been about anything but commercialism… I’d hate to be St Valentine (and not only because he died decapitated)… :p
I was never going to see it because romcoms suck, and I’m not one bit surprised that it has horrible reviews. It would be a waste for Hollywood to put in the effort to make a good movie because they know people flock to see this crap.
Not all, it’s just that the ones that get all the attention are usually bad. The last couple of movies that I saw which were both romantic and comedic were Away We Go and 500 Days of Summer. I enjoyed them and not once did they rely on the standard formula of ‘romcoms.’
Indies aside.
The Proposal
(500) Days of Summer was not horrible but was over-rated and overly cutesy in its own ways. I don’t think indies are averse to sucking.
Yes, romcoms suck. And everyone knows that and it has become expected for critics to hate them, that is why the reviews no longer deter the masses from seeing them. I enjoy a schluppy romcom every now and then and I never pay any attention to what a reviewer has to say about it. Not every movie can be “The Hurt Locker,” which is fantastic, but thank God for that.
In general, especially considering the more recent output, I’d agree with you, but still, there are a few good ones out there. My all-time favorite romantic comedy is Jerry Maguire. It was funny, romantic and had a lot of heart.
I think the trailer looks cute which is why I’m going to go see it, I don’t listen to the reviews of critics because what do I care what they think. The only opinion that matters to me is if at the end of the night I thought that my money was worth it
Funny enough, I would rather see “the Wolf Man” since I’m single and don’t want to be reminded I don’t have a boyfriend, lol. But, a ton of my friends want to see it, so I’m kinda being dragged to see it. If it’s as bad as I hear, I’ll come back and home and watch a really good chick flick, like “When Harry Met Sally.”
Hey, you can’t beat When Harry Met Sally, my all time romantic comedy fave. Also romcoms like Forget Paris (also Billy Crystal), My BF Wedding, You’ve Got Mail, Love Actually, 4 Weddings, etc. Valentine’s Day just doesn’t seem to stack, up, star studded, Garry Marshall and all that notwithstanding.
I usually read Lisa’s and Owen’s reviews, and whatever they like, I avoid like the plague, and anything they hate, is usually a pretty darn good movie.
So we’re reliable, right?
I’m curious, when you pan a movie, do you REALLY want to see it bomb, or are you just mildly curious? FYI–I do not plan to see this movie..
Joe C, I REALLY have no stake in whether a movie I pan bombs or not. But I’m very interested in how you, me, and everybody else makes our choices to buy (or not buy) a ticket to see a movie.
Lisa, I still can’t entirely forgive you for giving a D- to Fight Club, arguably one of the best movies of the last fifteen years and now an acknowledged classic.
That said, I suspect this movie is well-deserving of its F… so, either you got one wrong in 1999, or your tastes have improved in 11-odd years… haha…
Roger Ebert also didn’t like Fight Club, so Lisa’s not the only mainstream critic that didn’t acknowledge one of the 10 best movies of the last 15 years. As for Valentine’s Day, I thought about seeing the movie on a date with this girl but after looking at this review and Roger Ebert’s review, I’ll pass
D- to Fight Club? I’m not going to wholly criticize you since I know lots of people disliked the movie when it initially came out. But it’s one of my favorite movies, and I’m curious, Lisa: has your opinion of the movie changed since then?
I alredy decided not to see it because the cast doesn’t look appealing and it looks like another romantic comedy where the plot is so predictable and the characters are so stupid. P.S. Lisa I’ll always read your reviews, Happy Valentine’s Day!
No I refuse to contribute to the trite idea that if you load up a crap movie with a bunch of big stars then it has to be a hit. Keeping in mind that most of those ‘big’ actors haven’t collectively had a 50M opening in years, aside from Bradley Cooper and Taylor Lautner. I know that as a woman I’m apparently supposed to love stupid rom-coms and should be forcing my boyfriend to see this but I don’t.. and I won’t. But the thing is, most people made their minds up about this movie 10 seconds after they saw the trailer. This isn’t one of those ‘on the fence’ situations; you either were immediately giddy about it or hated it (guess where I fall) so critic bashing doesn’t help especially if said critic gave New Moon a B+ (bazinga!).
I was a lot more interested in it before it got such terrible reviews. Oh well.
Same here. I thought it was gonna be another Love Actually, but thanks to the nasty reviews I’ll wait until TNT shows it 87 weeks in one weekend.
To answer Lisa’s question, one critic’s review rarely sways my opinion. But consensus among many critics certainly does.
Argh! I meant 87 *times* in one weekend.
Totally agree Crispy. I enjoy a good RomCom, but have not went to see one in a movie theater in years because I usually wait for a general consensus of good reviews and good word of mouth before going out of my way to see it. There is too much crappy romcom’s playing on the fact that sometimes you just want to watch a good love story so they put out crap to just get your fix. So I’m more cautious where I spend my money in this dept.
Why did I buy Gotham Knights? Because it was $5. With the exception of Red Hood and Wonder Woman I’ve seen all of those rlesaees plus Frontier and I enjoyed them but my biggest problem? Why are 80 min. movies $20? Why are there two disc editions with nothing more then episodes of the original shows when I have them on DVD already or will eventually. Sorry I’m not saying by any means they were bad but I could not justify to myself spending $20 on movies while enjoyable I don’t think I could watch over and over again. Looking at Amazon right now I see there are some deals so maybe I would reconsider it in the future but in anyone else a little disappointed with the original price point for these movies?
I was never going to see this movie. The trailer made it look terrible, and bad reviews aren’t exactly making it look any better.
I always knew that this would be a Netflix pic. I will finally be seeing Avatar this weekend. And Lisa, it’s okay. I don’t always agree with you but I enjoyed New Moon too!
I hope you like Avatar!
I actually saw the movie already… It was cute! It was fun and lighthearted….I think that is what it was supposed to be. Nothing too serious for V-day. It was fun fluff and I recommend it!!
I have to say that, while I was watching, it was entertaining, if not a little silly. However, as soon as I left the theather, I felt like it had made no impression on me. It was empty entertainment. I guess that’s what it was aiming to be, so it can’t really be blaimed, but I feel like maybe I wasted a dollar too many.
i was going to go see it, because i love movies where there are a lot of famous actors at once, but after reading the review, i think i’ll pass…i was draggin my husband to see it, and i don’t want to hear him gripe about wasted money!
You’ll be missing out. I never write on these sites usually; It’s one of the nicest films I’ve seen in ages. Not intellectual or thought provoking; just a funny entertaining film.
I agree. It fulfilled it’s purposed. I don’t understand why it got such a bad rap, most people I’ve talked to actually enjoyed it.
I am a 23 year-old women in a relationship and i refuse to celebrate valentines. It’s a ‘holiday’ that makes women feel inadequet and defective because they’re not in a relationship. Men like George Clooney are almost celebrated because they’re a perpetual bachelor, yet Jennifer Aniston is depicted as a lonely cat lady because she hasn’t found a man. This double standard is infuriating and insulting to women who are happy with their independance whether they are single or not.
Agree 100%!!!
Very good point about the double standard. Although, I don’t mind if other people celebrate Valentine’s. It makes perfect sense if they’re a couple in love and wish to celebrate that. Though, I don’t think Feb. 14th should be the only day to celebrate actual love.
I agree!!!!!!!
I saw the trailer and felt cynicism. Mostly White folks, no original ideas, even the gay storyline (yes, there is one, contrary to the marketing campaign)has been done a million times before.
That’s not exactly true. I’m a straight man in my late 30s who hasn’t bothered to tie the knot yet, and the only thing that bothers me about my situation is the fact that my married friends–and most of them are–are starting to look at me as pathetic and/or immature now, even though I was perfectly acceptable to them just a couple of years ago when they were single too. Guys get flack for it too.