Ranking the happiness in the 'Expendables 3' character posters (plus new trailer!)

expendables-3-terry-crews.jpg

The Expendables 3 hits theaters Aug. 15, but in the meantime, there are 16 character portraits to entertain you. The only thing that would make their message clearer — think of this as the ultimate summer popcorn movie! — is if there were a Real Genius-level explosion behind each of them. Who’s happiest in these posters? Let’s see. Then check out the new “roll call” trailer.

1. Obviously, Terry Crews wins. He probably would’ve shot popcorn out of that gun if you’d asked him to. Which is why we look forward to seeing him on the media tour.

Crews in Expendables 3

2. Antonio Banderas. It’s all about the hat.

Banderas in Expendables 3

3. Ronda Rousey. The badass costume manages to incorporate the sexy cutout fashion trend.

Rousey in Expendbles 3

4. Dolph Lundgren. It’s about time he comes off the coolest.

Lundgren in Expendables 3

5. Jet Li. A man who travels light.

Li in Expendables 3

6. Jason Statham. My mother is going to Facebook this photo immediately.

Statham in Expendables 3

7. Randy Couture. The rolled-up sleeves show off his bicep when really, all we can stare at is his forearms.

Couture in Expendables 3

8. Glen Powell. He must have really made an impression as Trader #1 in The Dark Knight Rises.

Powell in Expendables 3

9. Victor Ortiz. The superhero-esque bulletproof vest is the best.

Ortiz  in Expendables 3

10. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Wearing that stubble well.

Schwarzenegger in Expendables 3

11. Harrison Ford. Is that a leather onesie? 

Ford in Expendables 3

12. Kelsey Grammer. He had to look this serious to compensate for his fishing attire.

Grammer in Expendables 3

13. Kellan Lutz. He’s either serious about protecting the family jewels or he just wet himself.

Lutz in Expendables 3

14. Sylvester Stallone. Those veins in his arms look like they hurt.

Stallone in Expendables 3

15. Wesley Snipes. We’re thinking he’s good with knives.

Snipes in Expendables 3

16. Mel Gibson. The big bad can’t smile.

Gibson in Expendables 3


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